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Why do we get so defensive when someone challenges us, questions our decisions, or points out something we would rather not see?
Defensiveness is one of the most common reactions that damages relationships, leadership, communication and personal growth. The problem is that most people do not recognise defensiveness while it is happening. They simply believe they are protecting themselves, standing their ground or correcting someone else.
In EP 3843 of The Strong Life Project, Shaun O’Gorman explores why people become defensive and what is really happening beneath the surface when we feel challenged. Defensiveness can be triggered by criticism, shame, insecurity, fear of failure, past experiences, damaged confidence or the feeling that our identity is being threatened.
Learning to recognise these triggers is an important part of emotional intelligence. When you can pause before reacting, you create space to understand what is actually happening instead of automatically defending your position.
This episode explores how defensiveness affects relationships, leadership, workplace communication and personal development. It also looks at the importance of being able to hear uncomfortable feedback without immediately turning it into an argument.
Strong people are not people who never feel challenged. They are people who can remain composed when they are challenged and have enough self awareness to ask whether there is something valuable in what they are hearing.
If you want to become more resilient, communicate more effectively, strengthen your relationships and become a better leader, learning to manage defensiveness is a powerful place to start.
Listen to EP 3843 Why Do We Get So Defensive? and consider where defensiveness may be protecting your ego while holding back your growth.
