There are 2 ways to handle any situation in your life. 1. Fight it and push against whatever is happening in the hope that it changes, 2. Accept where you are and then change your decisions and behaviours to generate a different outcome. I suggest that the 2nd option is the most rewarding and likely to create a positive outcome.
When you use all of your energy fighting and resisting the situation you are in it uses an inordinate amount of energy and invariably keeps you stuck in the situation, or even worse, it exacerbates that already difficult position you are in. When youre prepared to accept the situation as it is and accept the reasons you are in it and take responsibility for your actions that have put you int the situation you can then make the changes that will bring on a different outcome. The plain fact of the matter is, kicking and screaming about how unfair a situation is DOES NOT change the situation, it only embeds the negativity in you and drags down you optimism and enthusiasm, the very things you need to drag yourself out of the hole.
If you can look ato your situation as an opportunity to learn some lessons and evolve then you are truly thinking the negative into a positive. I know when I was really struggling with PTSD and depression I was so angry that I was in the situation and blamed everyone else around me for it. Once I accepted that I was in the situation because of my own choices and actions I could educate myself and develop the skills to move forward to where I am today where I live a really happy life. Now the actions I took that caused PTSD and depression were taken out of the very best of intentions, to help others and put the criminals in jail so the decent people of society could be protected, however those actions and decisions were still mine to make so taking responsibility for those was the only way I was going to be able to move forward.
Taking ownership and responsibility for your actions and decisions doesn’t mean that you must acknowledge they were wrong or negative, all it does is gives the power back to enable you to move forward. It is NOT to blame yourself and bet yourself up it is merely to give you the opportunity to put them aside as something that you did and then you can make different choices to change the situation as you move into the future. Someone who has a loved one die doesn’t have any responsibility for the death of that person but they can won the decisions they made that had them in the situation. They can accept they are feeling the pain and loss because they chose to love that person and live the life they had together for as long as it lasted. Taking the responsibility for your actions can be an extremely positive experience that then has you out for the victim mode and into the mindset of someone who makes shit happen for yourself.
The more you are willing to accept responsibility for the actions and decisions you have made that have put you in the situation you are in, the more able you are to move forward towards a happier and more fulfilled outcome form what may well be a really difficult and devastating situation.
