When you look in the mirror and you see the person looking back at you, you’re responsible for everything about that guy.
There are certainly things that happen in your life that are out of your control, but you are 100% responsible for your reaction and how you deal with, process and move on from any of those situations. You are 100 % responsible for the guy in the mirror, for the way he shows up in his health and fitness, as a husband, a partner, as a father, in your career, in all those things. Ultimately there is nobody else that can make you do anything, nobody else that can force you to be a certain way, there is nobody that can manipulate you to behave in a specific manner unless you choose to let them.
So that being the case you are 100% responsible for your life and how it pans out, and you are 100% responsible for whether that is a positive or negative experience for you and for the people around you.
When you acknowledge and accept that, it’s a very powerful thing. It means you’re not a victim of circumstance and you’re not a victim of anyone else, it’s a very positive outcome because you are responsible for the results that you get in your life. One of the things that I find when I deal with different people as clients is how willing we are to give up the responsibility or blame someone else for the way things occur in our lives. So often people are just so unhappy in a situation like their relationship, their career, their health and fitness but there is always someone to blame other than themselves.
One of the things that I find quite perplexing is how people can look at their life, their choices and where they are in their life and find other people to blame. A great example is the I am over weight, unhealthy, unfit, but I just don’t have time to exercise, well that’s bullshit. If you sit down for 30 minutes a day and watch television, or look at Facebook, or play video games, or do whatever, then you have time to exercise, you just choose not to and that is totally cool, that is your choice, but acknowledge it as a choice, acknowledge it for something that you are responsible for, don’t blame someone or something else because you’re not healthy and fit.
Similarly, with your family, if you’re not the best dad in the world and you blame time, “oh well, I just don’t have time, I work so much” then what is your priority outside of work? If you must work 12 hours a day, 6 days a week then 1. What do you do to change that situation so that it is not perpetual in your life forever and 2. What are you making the priority in your life outside of work? For instance, if you work 6 days a week 12 hours a day then you go and unwind at a bar 2 or 3 afternoons a week with your friends, then you’ve got time to be a better parent.
When you look at the guy in the mirror understand you’re responsible for the way his life is panning out, you’re responsible for the results that he gets, you’re responsible for the relationships he has and your responsible for how he feels about himself.
If you don’t agree with me that’s fine, I don’t really give a shit because it doesn’t impact my life, but if your life is not going the way you want it to then something needs to change. Perhaps it is the attitude and the belief that you have about “whose fault it is”. I cannot be convinced that there is anybody responsible for your own life other than you.
If you’re in a marriage or a relationship that doesn’t work, you’re not a victim of that situation, because you choose to stay. I have a very good friend of mine who was in a particularly bad relationship and it was only when he looked in the mirror and realised he didn’t like the person he had become that he had the courage to leave it.
If at any point in your relationship the other person treats you like shit, is abusive, or manipulative, or violent or whatever, and you stay, then you must take responsibility for the fact you choose to stay. If you’re with someone who is violent, angry, or treats you like shit then it is very easy to be of that opinion, “well it is not my fault”. It may not be your fault that you’re in that situation, but it is your responsibility because you choose to stay. That might sound tough but it is true.
That is probably the part that most people either don’t recognise or don’t want to acknowledge, it is your choice whether you stay or you go from the negative situations in your life. If you’re in a job or a career that you hate, then what are you doing about it? What are you doing to move on to a different career and a different job, what are you doing to change your circumstance so you can be in a job, a career or a business where you’re happy and you love what you do. If you’re working 40 hours a week for 48 weeks of the year that is 1,920 hours. That is about a quarter of your life, if you’re unhappy in that job then what the freaking hell are you doing still there? Ask yourself what are you doing to change that situation? I acknowledge it can take a long time and a lot of effort to get into a different business or career, the question is why wouldn’t you want to put in the effort to change it? Short term pain = long term gain. You may have to study, and up skill and put in a lot more hours than you want to for the next few years, but then for the next 30 years you can have a far better career. To me that is a no brainer.
It is the same for your self-worth and confidence, if you’re not happy with your confidence and your level of emotional awareness and connection or you’re battling depression and anxiety then what are you doing to change the situation? I’ve dealt with depression for a lot of my life but it was only when I stood up and took responsibility for the PTSD, depression, suicide and went and got help did I change the way I thought and operated in my life for the better. I consistently keep educating myself so I can evolve emotionally and be the happiest version of myself possible. I can honestly say that I am the happiest I have ever been in my life because I take responsibility for where I am at.
I look at the guy in the mirror every morning and understand I am responsible for how he feels, where he is at, and what happens in his life. Will you do the same thing?